As for me, I don’t care about a funeral and I don’t want to be buried, if family feels they need the funeral to say goodbye then they can do it for them, as long as they understand I don’t need it.

Sending cool, calming clear thoughts your way.

I’m really of two minds about the funeral thing. I never really understood why people made a fuss over the dead until my favorite cat of all time (Michaelmouse) was hit by a car. I came home from choir practice and found him in the road, running for home when he got hit. He was pretty unmarked outwardly. I picked him up and carried him to the porch and cried and cried and stroked him and cried some more. Before then, I could never have imagined doing anything like that. Then when my mother died, I found I was comforted to see her looking more like her old self in the coffin. I’m glad that I got to see her like that, instead of having to remember her lying sick in bed.

My brother’s FIL, a sweet man that I loved dearly, died recently after a very short illness. I didn’t get to see him in the last few weeks before he died. Again, it was kind of a comfort to me to see him once more before he was gone, even if it was in the casket.

I’m not a fan of big expensive funerals or anything like that. But since I’ve apparently turned into a Neolithic citizen who venerates dead bodies and who now understands why dead people used to be buried with their favorite things, I understand the impulse a little better these days.

I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts.

I wish you peace.

I’m so very sorry about your loss of your Grandfather. Having just worked at a funeral home (that’s the job I just left), I can assure you that your feelings of not knowing what to say and do are feelings that many others share too. Just being there for your Grandma is way more impt than speaking the “right” words.

Good luck with getting clear on your decision. I hope some clarifies for you this week.