Restless Knitter

I wasn’t blogging back when Brandi (our English Springer) got sick. She developed a brain tumor or something. She started having seizures and stopped being herself. We tried medicine. We took her back off the medicine. We put her back on it. She got worse as time went on, in just the two and a half months since she had her first seizure. She became very sad, or withdrawn. She didn’t chase the cats. She became afraid of everything. It got to the point that she was afraid of stairs. Once she got into the basement, she would no longer even try to come up to eat, drink, or be with me. That was very hard because Brandi went with me everywhere. I didn’t go to the bathroom without that dog. She was truly my constant companion. The day she put her head under the weight bench and screamed because she thought she was stuck, we knew it was time. She was no longer living the “quality of life” that she should be. She was a week from her 5th birthday. People, I cried for 3 months. Mostly because I missed her, some because I felt guilty for not spending $8000 on a surgery that wasn’t guaranteed to help. I wasn’t ready for another dog until January. Before then, I think I would have felt more guilt because it would have been like trying to replace Brandi.

Then we got Bella. Bella whose mission in life is to terrorize the cats, chase every living critter in the backyard, and bark at everything that walks by the front of our house. We have a fenced in backyard and Bella has free roam of it when she goes out. She loves it out there. There are bugs, moles (uh, not sure if there’s any left now), salamanders, birds, squirrels, chipmunks (and one snake sighting) all for her amusment. It’s hard to get her to come inside at times. She will race around the yard so you can’t catch her to bring her in. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dog that can run as fast as she can, seriously. Two days ago, this all changed. She would go out on the deck then whine to come back in. She wouldn’t go out to the grass. After The Man and I went out for breakfast yesterday, I decided to take her out there on the leash. I figured if she saw that it was okay with me, she’d get over not wanting to get off the deck. And she wouldn’t pee in the house again, grrr. So yeah, I took her out there on the leash. When we got down in the grass, she bucked, whined, and pulled back so hard she gagged. I tried running with her beside me but she still would try to get to the house once we got to this invisible line that she knows about but I can’t see. I paniced. All I could think about was how Brandi had started getting scared of everything. I cried like a baby. After composing myself, I drove Bella to the vet’s office. Where I proceeded to break down again. They checked her over and can’t find anything physically wrong with her. Something has traumatized her though. After I pulled my stupid stunt of taking her out there on the leash, she backs off when she sees me heading to the back door.

Our neighbor stopped over later in the day and we were telling him about all this. He started crawling around on the floor and playing with her. He crawled out the back door and down the steps of the deck (I tried this later in the day, do you know how hard it is to crawl down steps!?), all the while with her trying to lick his face and bite his nose. He got down to the grass, and she played with him a minute then ran over as close to the house as she could while still staying in the grass and took a poo. After she did that, she sniffed it then did something she’s never done before. She kicked at it. I know a lot of dogs do this every time they use the bathroom, but Bella has never done it before. After she kicked at it, she ran away from it (she looked back in it’s direction twice) and back up on to the deck. We were relieved, though, because she’d been holding it all day and at least she did it outside.

This morning, I cut up a hot dog and fed her little pieces. Some I fed her by hand, some I tossed into the grass, until I got her to that invisible line. If I drop the treat in the grass past that line, she comes and gets it, then she backs up behind her line and starts kicking at the grass with all four feet. I don’t understand at all what has traumatized her so badly that she won’t go out to where she once loved to be. The vet asked about several things that may have caused it. Did she fall down the stairs? No, and she’s not afraid of the stairs in the house. Possibly an animal? Don’t think so, she hasn’t backed away from any of the ones we’ve seen. She keeps at anything that moves until she either catches it or it gets away into the neighbors yard. The storm? Again, don’t think so. We’ve had storms before and she’s never been affected. Maybe she got a small lightning zap or felt the tingle from lightning, maybe standing in water? She doesn’t get to go outside when there’s lightning. I know that it’s possible that she’s felt lightning before we’ve seen it, so maybe. Watch her potty, maybe she had a painful urination or bowel movement. Don’t think it was from peeing, she hasn’t been afraid to pee in the dining room TWICE! The bowel movement is possible, especially after seeing her kick at it yesterday. But she did go this morning and doesn’t seem like she’s having a hard time or anything. I want to help her get over this because she loved it so much out there. Maybe it will just take time and/or maybe a lot of hot dog pieces. I just know that there has to be something and she’ll make it through this and once again love the backyard.

Edit: I posted on a doggy forum. The kicking is her trying to mark her territory and get rid of the scent of whatever it was that spooked her. Instead of treats, they suggest we use toys because treats are for rewards and toys are to drive her. We shouldn’t push her to get into the part of the yard that she’s not comfortable in and just act like it’s no big deal that she won’t go there. It will take some time and patience but she’ll eventually be okay back there.